The Katywompus Journal Observing Life's Little Quirks by Diane Moody |
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Entry #55: Invisible
Ever feel invisible? Ever walk through a group of people and no one acknowledges you're even there? No eye contact. Not a simple "hello" or "nice to see you." Nothing. As if you don't exist at all. Rather disheartening, isn't it? It's a matter I've pondered most of my life. As a child, I was painfully shy outside the walls of my home. I welcomed the invisibility of my existence back then. As I grew up and began to yearn for some glimmer of recognition, I fought to climb out of my cocoon. I needed to know I mattered to someone. I was secure in the love of my family but I wanted more. Flexing my muscles, I discovered who I was (and who I wasn't) and grew more comfortable in my own skin. But even today, there are those times when I feel like I have no skin, no body, no presence. Don't get me wrong. I'm not having a pity party here. I'm quite comfortable with who I am, so it no longer devastates me as it once did. But my question today is why? Why do we move through our everyday lives ignoring each other? How hard is it to make eye contact? How hard is it to simply smile at someone you pass in the aisle at the grocery store, or in the bleachers at the football game, or on the steps of the church? Why are we so paranoid about being friendly these days? Are we fearful that our pleasant overtures might be misread or misinterpreted? Is that it? Or are we afraid of encouraging something more, like - oh, I don't know - a verbal "hello" or, God forbid, something more demanding like a comment on the weather or the ever-familiar "have a nice day"? Would hell freeze over if we tiptoed into that territory? The south is known for its hospitality, and thankfully, there are some genuinely hospitable people that live amongst us. Sadly, though, I have discovered that the friendliest are those who are PAID to be friendly. The waiters at O'Charley's Restaurant. The guy working the concession stand at the movie theater. (That would be my son, and he had better be friendly!) Or my personal favorites, the folks at Publix. I've never passed a single employee there who didn't go out of their way to greet me or ask if I needed any help. I commend the Publix company for training their workers to make every single customer feel welcome. Still, it saddens me to think common courtesy and friendliness must come with a paycheck. What saddens me even more is the isolation we spread when we go through life never "seeing" those around us. We never know but that the person crossing our path may be on the brink of depression or living in the midst of some personal crisis. We never know but that a simple gesture of kindness - if nothing more than a smile - might warm a heart that's suffering or disarm the despair of loneliness, if only for a moment. Imagine driving up to a church that has a sign out front reading "Welcome! We're Glad You're Here!" But when you walk through the door, not a single person speaks to you. No one shakes your hand or thanks you for coming. When you start to sit down, a woman stops you. "Those are our seats," she informs you. I don't know about you, but I'd be out of there by the first hymn. I'd head for the breakfast buffet at Shoney's and break bread in better company. (And if that sounds like your church, I'd invite you to visit mine. We'll bend over backwards to welcome you!) So how do we break this chilling epidemic of indifference? How do we return to a kinder day when folks never passed on the street without a tip of the hat or a "how do you do?" I think the answer begins with me, and itbeginswithyou.Wehavetobreakoutofour self-absorbed, reclusive mindset, and learn how to be real again. You don't have to invite the guy at the gas pump over for dinner, just say hello. You don't have to spend the day with the senior adult at the mall, just give her a smile. It doesn't cost a dime. Let's take it a step further. Why not consider stepping out of your comfort zone and be friendly to someone you don't know? Who knows, if we all make the effort, maybe we'll stamp out that disease of invisibility altogether. Click HERE to send Diane an email. She welcomes your comments and suggestions. She's Flying the Coop Blessed are the poor... Back to School It All Started With Eve It's Almost Here! Forget About Weapons of Mass Destruction - let’s Talk Hormones The Other "W" "If only I could..." "Put Down That Remote and Step Away From the TV!" Take This Job and Love It! As the Stomach turns! Pet Peeves Cue the Balloons! A Picture Perfect Thanksgiving 'Twas Two Months Before Christmas . . . Egg Nog & Popcorn The Importance of Making Christmas Memories Step Away from the Mistletoe! O Crystal Ball . . . 2003 Unplugged Geek is Chic! Mind Your Manners! Go "Figure" You’ve Gotta Laugh Reality Check A Parent’s Worst Nightmare Notice Me! It's Not About the Stuff Too Many Buns! What's Your Legacy? 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