The Katywompus Journal Observing Life's Little Quirks by Diane Moody |
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Entry #49: Grand Illusions
I stepped on the scale this morning and was overjoyed with the happy news that I'd lost eight pounds overnight. Oh, if only I could believe those sweet numbers. It was early. My mind was pre-caffeinated and delusional. My thoughts drifted down a strange little path. I began to dream . . . oh, if everything in life were as simple as just wishing it were so. What would that look like? Osama, Saddam, and terrorism would no longer be a threat. To anyone. Iraq would be free, stable, and democratic. Our troops would be HOME WITH THEIR FAMILIES! Countries would learn some other way to settle their differences instead of shooting each other or dropping bombs. People would talk about good friends, good movies, good books, or good music instead of politics, politics, politics! We could eat whatever we want and never gain weight. Ice cream would top the list of health food - the more ingredients (cookie dough, M&Ms, chocolate & caramel turtles), the better! The term "Low Carb" would disappear from every restaurant, commercial, and grocery shelf. (I just felt the tremor of Dr. Atkins rolling over in his double-wide coffin. Sorry, Doc.) Chocolate would be deemed healthy as well. "Got Chocolate?" ads would pop up on TV commercials and magazine pages. Think Letterman with a chocolate milk mustache. Staying in shape would not require any physical labor. None. Ever. All exercise equipment would be rendered obsolete and unnecessary. Reality shows would GO AWAY. We'd have our choice of quality drama series with compelling story lines or sitcoms that were actually funny. Couples would stay married happily ever after and no child would ever know the heartache of a broken family. After all these years and billions and billions of "research" dollars, SOMEONE would find a cure for cancer and all other diseases. America would remember her blessings from God and renew His visa . . . Post-modern judges would recognize the Ten Commandments as common sense and basic good law. (Let's see - don't kill, don't steal, don't lie - radical stuff, isn't it?) We'd put value back on education, eliminating the constant "social agenda" detours, and JUST TEACH! We'd acknowledge the importance of our police, firefighters, and paramedics and pay them accordingly. (How do you put a price tag on the lives saved by these First Responders?) We'd always look for the best in people and lose our critical attitude about everything and everybody. And we'd remember how to laugh again. The kind that makes your sides hurt and your eyes water. I was on quite a roll. Suddenly, I blinked. I found myself in the kitchen, the steaming coffee pot half-full, and the mug in my hand almost empty. Oh no. The caffeine had kicked in, dissolving my visit to utopia. With a heavy sigh, I refilled my mug and shuffled back downstairs for another encounter with the bathroom scale. Just as I thought. Click HERE to send Diane an email. She welcomes your comments and suggestions. She's Flying the Coop Blessed are the poor... Back to School It All Started With Eve It's Almost Here! Forget About Weapons of Mass Destruction - let’s Talk Hormones The Other "W" "If only I could..." "Put Down That Remote and Step Away From the TV!" Take This Job and Love It! As the Stomach turns! Pet Peeves Cue the Balloons! A Picture Perfect Thanksgiving 'Twas Two Months Before Christmas . . . Egg Nog & Popcorn The Importance of Making Christmas Memories Step Away from the Mistletoe! O Crystal Ball . . . 2003 Unplugged Geek is Chic! Mind Your Manners! Go "Figure" You’ve Gotta Laugh Reality Check A Parent’s Worst Nightmare Notice Me! It's Not About the Stuff Too Many Buns! What's Your Legacy? Music to My Ears Why, Thank You! Ah, Spring! Mel vs. the Easter Bunny He Did It! He Finally Did It! Unexpected Joys HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHUCK McFARLAND! Bring on the Barbecue! Not So Happy Mother's Days The List It's a Small World After All "Here We Mark the Price of Freedom" A Special Hero Reflections on a Presidential Passing Beauty & the Beast Postcards from Florida |
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