HELLO FRIDAYS

FROM BEAUTIFUL BELLEAIR BLUFFS, FLORIDA

GOD'S HEDGE,

"Have you not put a hedge around him, his household and everything he has?" Job 1:10

It is hard to believe it but here we find Satan explaining one of God's great provisions - His HEDGE. Can you believe it? The Devil, of all the people in the Bible to be explaining God's modus operandi? But you know what? The Devil is acutely familiar with God's HEDGE. It is the barrier he has to contend with all the time. It hinders his greatest desire - the destruction of God's children.

Here is where we come in. When we follow God's design for our daily lives (Psalm 1:1-3) He protects us (Proverbs 2:7-8). He places this impressive HEDGE (enough to keep Satan with an attitude away) all around us and our families, and our stuff.

But when we, oops, willfully violate God's law, guess what ? We step outside of God's HEDGE, and guess who is waiting out there to show us the finer points of body slamming and smash mouthing? Fortunately God will forgive us when we confess (1 John 1:9) and He will restore us back within His HEDGE. But it is amazing the pain and suffering that can be administered during our brief detours away from His will.

Truth for today - do it God's way, stay inside His HEDGE, allow Him to protect you and yours!

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FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE SILLY

YOU MIGHT BE A SCHOOL TEACHER IF

(from Laurie Hale - Texas)

1. You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt

lick.

2. You find humor in other people's stupidity.

3. You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8

to 3:20 and have summers free."

4. You believe chocolate is a food group.

5. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

6. You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the

report card.

7. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says

"Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.

8. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at

children you do not know and correct their behavior.

9. You have no life between August to June.

10. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much

simpler.

11. When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food

group.

12. You think people should be required to get a government permit

before being allowed to reproduce.

13. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

14. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the

"lounge."

15. You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac.

16. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools

or home schooling.

17. You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without

having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.

18. You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would

"Never DREAM" of doing your job.

19. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a

child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you

heard it uttered.

20. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

21. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I

have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such

fun."

22. You smile weakly, and want to choke a person when he or she says

"Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime

for you."

23. Your personal life comes to a screeching halt at report card

time.

24. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is

this kid like this?"

THIS REALLY HAPPENED!

(from Chrys Hambley- Florida)

A kid was new in a school. His first class was science. His teacher said,

"Please, everyone who believes in Christ please stand." The new kid was the

only one to stand. The teacher said, "Can you feel, see, smell, taste, or

hear your God?" The kid replied, "No, sir." "Then you may sit down for your

God doesn't exist," the teacher said. The kid then asked, " May I ask you

something?" The teacher said yes and the teenager began, "Sir, can you feel,

smell, taste, hear or see your brain?" The teacher said no. Then the kid

said, "Well then you may sit down for you have no brain!"

DRIVING PRIVILEGES

(from Laurie Hale - Texas)

A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was

a minister, if they could discuss the use of the car. His father took him to

his study and said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades

up, study your Bible, and get your hair cut and we'll talk about it."

After about a month the boy came back and again asked his father if they could

discuss use of the car. They again went to the father's study where his

father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You have brought your grades

up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut!"

The young man waited a minute and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking

about that. You know, Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, why even

Jesus had long hair...."

To which his father replied...."Yes, and they WALKED every where they went!"

THE TOP SIGNS YOUR WINDOWS 98 SYSTEM IS ABOUT TO CRASH

(from Herman Cortez - Florida)

You learn Bill Gates' monthly check to Beelzebub was returned

for insufficient postage.

The White House just phoned to say Al Gore is coming over to

survey the damage.

Your Palm Pilot starts shouting "Mayday! Mayday!"

As the screen flickers, a Scottish voice screams, "Cap'n!

She needs more RAM! She's breakin' up, Sir!"

A tiny hoodlum appears on the screen and offers to sell you

"MS Protection" for a modest fee.

First time you've ever seen that "Happy Mac With A Chainsaw"

icon.

Bill Gates climbs out of a black helicopter in your back yard

and offers you a cool million to keep your big mouth shut.

That flying window screensaver just morphed into a flaming

Hindenburg.

Knowing the procedure for vermin aboard a sinking ship,

your mouse just high-tailed it into the other room.

That tiny iceberg icon is getting larger by the minute.

Your screensaver shows a little man sticking a screwdriver in a flying

toaster.

An air bag deploys from your monitor and smacks you in the face.

FINAL WORD FROM KEN

Well, I'm now officially full time with HEDGEBUILDERS, Inc. I will be focusing my energies helping folks make sure the Internet in their homes and offices is safe and usable, free from pornography, satanic sites, chat rooms and such. If you offer links on your own web pages, please put one on your page for HEDGEBUILDERS at www.hedge.org. I also covet your prayers in this new endeavor. I am stepping away from the local church ministry for a time to devote myself to this new emerging ministry. You will be hearing a lot more about Internet filtering in the near future. HEDGEBUILDERS is a not-for-profit ministry and I'm stepping out on faith trusting God's provision. Where HE calls HE provides!

Have a great week - Ken