FROM BEAUTIFUL BELLEAIR BLUFFS, FLORIDA

DON'T BE ANXIOUS

'You got - that choking feeling'….. (wasn't that a Righteous Brothers Song?!?)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6 & 7

These have been my memory verses this week. And lo and behold Chuck Swindoll was also talking about them. He shared that the root words from which we get our words anxious and worry actually mean choking. Now that paints a picture I think we can all relate to. We all become anxious one time or another - it is part of being human. The pressures of life; an unexpected turn of events; situations beyond our control; these things are all part of the tapestry of our everyday existence. Farther down in Philippians 4 Paul lists several of the anxious opportunities that he confronted during his lifetime.

But you know, we are the real righteous brother and sisters, and God is much bigger than those events that cause us to feel like we are being choked. You see worry or anxiousness is a frame of mind. We start spinning our minds out of control. But God in verse 7 promises us a solution that transcends our minds, rendering that choking feeling ineffective. It is His PEACE. It is the realization that He is indeed in control (Philippians 2:13), and He does indeed love us (Romans 5:8), and He knows what is best for us (Proverbs 3:5 & 6), and He has a plan (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So I challenge you today to rest in His PEACE. I echo the words of Jesus to his closest circle of friends ; "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself"

FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE SILLY

BEING A GOOD WIFE

(sent in by Laurie Hale - Texas)

The following is actual text from a 1950's Home Economics textbook intended

for High School girls, teaching how to prepare for married life. (The 90s update follows)

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1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious

meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking

about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they

come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome

needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he

arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh

looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay

and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter: Make one last trip through the main part of the

house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys,

paper, etc. Then run a dust clothe over the tables. Your husband will feel he

has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and

faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their

clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the

part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of

washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be

quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see

him.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain

if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have

gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest

he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange

his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and

pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of

his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner

or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of

strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your

husband can relax.

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Now the updated version for the '90s woman.

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1. Have dinner ready: Make reservations ahead of time. If your day becomes

too hectic just leave him a voice mail message regarding where you'd like to

eat and at what time. This lets him know that your day has been crappy and

gives him an opportunity to change your mood.

2. Prepare yourself: A quick stop at the "LANCOME" counter on your way home

will do wonders for your outlook and will keep you from becoming irritated

every time he opens his mouth. (Don't forget to use his credit card!)

3. Clear away the clutter: Call the housekeeper and tell her that any

miscellaneous items left on the floor by the children can be placed in the

Goodwill box in the garage.

4. Prepare the children: Send the children to their rooms to watch television

or play Nintendo.

5. Minimize the noise: If you happen to be home when he arrives, be in the

bathroom with the door locked.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems and complaints. Let him speak

first, and then your complaints will get more attention and remain fresh in

his mind throughout dinner. Don't complain if he's late for dinner; simply

remind him that the leftovers are in the refrigerator and you left the dishes

for him to do.

7. Make him comfortable: Tell him where he can find a blanket if he's cold.

This will really show you care.

8. Listen to him: But don't ever let him get the last word.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner

or to other places of entertainment; go with a friend or go shopping (use his

credit card).

10. The Goal: Try to keep things amicable without reminding him that he only

thinks the world revolves around him.

FUN THOUGHTS

(sent in by Jim Harris - Florida)

* Rev. Warren J. Keating, Pastor of the First Presbyterian Church of

Yuma, AZ., says that the best prayer he ever heard was, "Lord, please

make me the kind of person my dog thinks I am."

* A student was asked to list the 10 Commandments in any order. His

response was: 3, 6, 1, 8, 4, 5, 9, 2, 10, 7.

* A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old

son ran up, grabbed her hand and led her to the shore where a sea gull

lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the boy asked. "He

died and went to heaven," she replied. The boy thought for a moment and

then said, "And God threw him back down?"

* After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow

up, I'm going to give you some money. "Well, thank you," the pastor

replied. "But why?" "Because," the boy responded, "my daddy says you're

one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."

* A woman invited some people over for dinner. At the table she

turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the

blessing?" The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say." "Just say

what you heard Mommy say," the mother answered. The daughter bowed her

head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to

dinner?

PROFOUND SAYINGS AND SUCH

(sent in by Daryl Renshaw- Florida)

Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like bananas

Home is where you hang your @

The best things in life are free plus tax

Skydivers: Good to the last drop

Why do they let semi-drivers drive big trucks?

Why do they call apartments "apartments" when they are built together?

Smile and the world audits your taxes.

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?

According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body that is required on it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

I'm taking Lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.

THINGS HOLLYWOOD HAS TAUGHT US

(sent in by Angie "Anonymous" Hunt - Florida)

Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price

range of most people, whether they are employed or not.

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You

will always choose the right one.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications

system of any invading alien society, and run an applications system that

everyone is very familiar with.

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving

martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one,

by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out

their predecessors.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will

still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on

nuclear fission, or anything else, at the age of 22.

Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch

enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems,

deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, all of which will allow

their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread and

one bunch of carrots complete with leafy tops.

It's easy to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower

to talk you down.

Once applied, makeup never rubs off even while scuba diving or after

fighting alien monsters. But only if you are beautiful. If

you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No

one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can

travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the

mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it is not

necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will

wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Computer monitors never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter

Password Now.

It is not necessary to say hello or good-bye when beginning or ending

phone conversations. And none of your friends have to knock when they

come for a visit.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn

the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red

readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone around you will

automatically be able to mirror all the steps you come up with and hear

the music in your head.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each

other.

HOW TO MAKE MONEY IN MEXICO

(sent in by Laurie Hale - Texas)

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the

second, "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own

bungee-jumping service in Mexico." The second guy thinks this is a

great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll

need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they

are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more

and more people gather to watch them at work.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he

comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and

scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able to catch him.

He falls again, bounces, and comes back up again. This time he is

bruised and bleeding.

Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and

bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's

got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, the

second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened?

Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what is a piñata?"

FINAL WORD FROM KEN

Well, like the man above you may feel beat up by the challenges of life. Just remember God's PEACE, Which transcends our understanding.

Have a great week - Ken