FROM BEAUTIFUL BELLEAIR BLUFFS, FLORIDA

BLESSED ARE THE PURE IN HEART FOR THEY SHALL SEE GOD (MATTHEW 5:8)

I have been captivated by a passage out of Psalm 119. Verse 9 starts with, "How can a young man keep his way pure… and verse 16 ends with, "I will not neglect your word". In between this question and this answer is the secret to seeing God in our daily lives. It all centers around integrating the word of God into every aspect of our lives, every sinew of our existence. I don't know about you but I want to see God. Not only do I want to spend eternity in His presence, but I want His presence in my daily life on this earth. How? According to Jesus the key is purity, and that's where Psalm 119:9-16 comes in. It tells us how to live a pure life:

v 9 - "by living according to His word". Simply put, you got to know it to live it, and then you can't just know it but you have to live by it.

V 10 - You have to seek God with everything within you. You cannot by distracted by the challenges of life and, you cannot be enticed away by the trappings of this world.

V 11 - One of the keys is memorizing God's word - these verses become the bullets in your gun that you use to kill off the influence of sin.

V 12 - You have to have a teachable spirit.

V 13 - You have to share the truth from God's word with others.

V 14 - You should experience joy in incorporating God's word into your life, "as one rejoices in great riches". Been around anyone who has inherited or won a large sum of money lately? Get the idea.

V 15 - You have to spend time pondering God's word. Throughout the day you are thinking about it and how it relates to your attitudes and appetites. You consider His word in EVERY decision you make!

V 16 - God's word should be fun, not boring. These are the very words that bring life. We should have more fun in God's word than in doing anything else (sports, entertainment, food, etc.)

If God visibly showed up in your presence I can guarantee you would listen carefully to every word He said. Well you know what? He did visibly show up and His words are readily available - I challenge you to pay attention. Read Psalm 119:9-16 today and then start living it!

FROM THE SUBLIME TO THE SILLY

COFFEE DRINKERS

(from Chrys Hambley - Largo, Florida)

YOU KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING TOO MUCH COFFEE WHEN:

You answer the door before people knock.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You can photograph yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

You sleep with your eyes open.

Your Thermos is on wheels.

Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

You chew on other people's fingernails.

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.

You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You can jump-start your car without cables.

Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."

You don't sweat, you percolate.

You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.

You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

NEW WORDS FOR THE 90'S

(from Chiqui Polo - Houston Texas)

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles.

Ego Surfing: Scanning the Net, databases, print media and so on, looking for references to one's own name.

Elvis Year: The peak year of something's or someone's popularity. "Barney the Dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."

404: Someone who's clueless. "Don't bother asking him; he's 404." From the WWW error message "404 Not Found," meaning the requested document couldn't be located.

Idea Hamsters: People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.

Ohnosecond: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake.

Perot: To quit unexpectedly, as in "My cellular phone just perot'ed."

Prairie Dogging: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs: What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Stress Puppy: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Xerox Subsidy: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

Going Postal: Euphemism for being totally stressed out, for losing it. Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Beepilepsy - The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence.

Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help."

Depotphobia - Fear associated with entering a Home Depot because of how much money one might spend. Electronics geeks experience Shackophobia.

Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in."

GOOD Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops over everything and then leaves.

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

TOP TEN CHANGES AT NASA TO ACCOMMODATE 76-YEAR-OLD JOHN GLENN'S RETURN

TO SPACE ABOARD THE SHUTTLE DISCOVERY:

(Laurie Hale - Amarillo - Texas)

10. All important devices now operated by the Clapper.

9. Shuttle's thermostat set at 80 degrees.

8. Shuffle board installed in cargo bay.

7. "Early Bird" specials from Morrison's Cafeteria included on menu.

6. One monitor specifically designated for Matlock.

5. Little bowls of candy scattered randomly about the ship.

4. Top speed of shuttle set at 25 miles per hour.

3. Installed a new bifocal windshield.

2. Space pants now go up to armpits.

1. Left-blinker left on for entire mission.

TRUISMS

(Bill Violette - Largo, Florida)

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you

tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above

your principles.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for

you!

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just have film.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines

FINAL WORD FROM KEN

I hope you found a laugh or two - see you in April - Ken