HelloFridays

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It takes forever for these homemade graphics of mine to load. I would like to say it is well worth the wait, but after you've waited the 45 seconds or so you would probably be so upset that you would not get anything out of the inspirational section below. So I suggest that you go ahead and start reading the text and then come back to the top when your done. Then you can admire my limited graphics ability. Sincerely, HF graphics department.

From Beautiful Belleair Bluffs, Florida:
Hello Fridays attempts to get you to do two things: to think and to laugh, both of which are critical to your health and success in an ever-challenging world. Take a moment and ponder with your heart, and then turn around, kick back, and laugh until it hurts. You deserve the inspiration and the break! GOD BLESS.
NUMBER 34

from Kadywompus

HELLO FRIDAYS LOOKS AT THE HUMOROUS AND MEANINGFUL THINGS OF CHRISTMAS

Now it's time to get SILLY

WARM AND FUZZY CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

Story Number 1
by Ken Moody

I’ll never forget the year my father stole Christmas. You see, my father and our neighbor Ed Stobok had this running competition to see who could get the most Christmas lights on their Christmas trees. Over the years this friendly little challenge had become more and more intense. But on this particular year my father had gone for broke. You have to understand, old Ed routinely beat my father at this challenge hands down. But it wasn’t going to happen this year. You see, my father had a new job -- he was working as a regional manager for Wal-Mart. Over the year, through his new connections, he had secretly accumulated 100,000 Christmas tree lights. He had started the week before Christmas, and it took all week long to put those lights on our poor little artificial Christmas tree. By the time the last string was attached you could not even tell it was a tree of any kind. It looked more like someone had peeled off the outer skin of a giant Jumbo Tron.

Well , finally the big moment came - Christmas Eve. Ed Stobok called to inform us that he had 8,000 lights on his tree this year and that it looked great. Dad informed him that the nice folks from the Guinness Book of World Records were at our house and that he had better come over quick. Ed was there in 30 seconds. Now, all of these lights had been plugged into a series of extension cords, also from Wal-mart. Dad, in a masterful stroke, had engineered the whole show to be wired down to one plug -- which he now held in his hand. At the conclusion of a small round of applause from our family, the Guinness people, and even old Ed Stobok himself, Dad plugged in the tree. For a brief moment, I mean a very brief moment, the tree exploded in light, kind of like a flash bulb to the 100th degree going off. Then, an amazing thing happened. Starting behind our house and going on for a least ten minutes came a series of explosions. Every transformer, in every neighborhood, within in a ten mile radius of our house blew out. It sounded just like the Fourth of July! In just one mere second, the intense heat generated by those 100,000 lights had completely melted our artificial tree. Poor old Ed Stobok had been standing a little too close to the tree and both of his eyebrows had been singed totally off. Boy was that ugly.

It took every power company employee from a five county area, working around the clock, 48 hours straight, to reestablish power to our little town. My father went into hiding. Ed Stobak called off the competition forever, and moved to another state.

But you know what? After it all blew over, my father started receiving thank-you cards from families in the blacked-out area. And to a card they all said the same thing: "Thank you, Mr. Stewart for giving us the best Christmas we have ever had." You see, without the electrical conveniences, without the electric toys, without the televisions, these families were forced to look to each other for their enjoyment. All across our city families had huddled together, played board games, told stories from their past Christmases, and worshiped Christ -- the way God had intended..

That spring the city elected my father the Electricity Commissioner. And now every Christmas he turns off the power for one hour and the families of our city gather together in their homes and worship the one true Light.

Story Number 2
by Ken Moody

I just love Christmas. I always have. As a kid I have fond memories of getting up first thing on Christmas morning, throwing on my clothes, and running outside to make snow angels in the fresh clean Christmas snow. Even to this day I jump out of bed on Christmas morning, throw on my long underwear, my down jacket, and my show shoes, and my wool cap (y’know -- the kind with those fur-lined things that cover your ears) and I run out in my back yard and make angels in the pile of unraked leaves. I can’t do it for long though, because I start to suffer from heat exhaustion. After all, it’s normally about 80 degrees on Christmas day here in Florida. One year I got so hot they even had to call 911. Boy, did that make for a Christmas memory.

Y’know, Christmas memories are important, and I have many. When I was growing up we had a lot of family traditions around Christmas time. One of the most beloved ones was the CHRISTMAS EVE EXTENDED FAMILY GET TOGETHER. Every year, and I mean every year, all of my relatives, and I do mean all of them (y’know, like eighth and ninth cousins) would all gather on Christmas Eve at my Great Uncle Zemmer’s house. All of the adults would just sit around and talk for hours, conversations like, "Well, tell me Beatrice, how’s that spastic colon of your’s doing?", Or, "Say Arnold, you old ham lover, do you still have that three legged pig?"

And worst of all, they would all pinch my cheek and ask me the same dumb question every year, "Well, look at you little Johnny, how is it that you’ve grown so much?" Finally one year I got smart and started responding by saying "Mitosis. Y’know -- cell division!" They finally quit asking that question.

One Christmas Eve, my young cousins and I had had all we could take. So we devised a plan to liven things up a bit. The big fun at this annual get-together was watching Great Uncle Zemmer open all of his Christmas gifts from the different family members. So my cousins and I put my pet snake in one of those zipped-up shaving kits. Then we wrapped it and put it in the pile with Great Uncle Zemmer’s gifts. When he opened our package, the snake -- which was quite ticked off by then -- came flying out and attached itself to Great Uncle Zemmer’s beard. You should have seen him dance. Oh my! Now you gotta understand that my Great Uncle Zemmer was a fundamentalist, and fundamentalists don’t dance - but he did! The family still talks about that Christmas Eve.

But y’know, when I look back on all of those different Christmas traditions, I’m thankful. As a matter of fact, my little family carries on many of the same traditions. We gather around Christ, and around each other, and we say, "Thanks God, for a great year. Thanks God, for our family and friends. And thanks God, most of all for Jesus."

Then we open presents - and since I now have two sons, I open each one of my presents very, very slowly - you never know what’ll pop out!

Now it's time to get SILLY

Get the POWERPAGE

Are you tired of your old start page when you connect to the Internet. Perhaps it is AOL or MSN, or Yahoo or something. You never know what you are going to get, and you never know where those links will take you. I have just published a brand new start page for Christians called the POWERPAGE. It features safe Search Engines, free e-mail (Hotmail), and positive links to Sports, Weather, Stocks, Travel, Daily Inspiration, Humor, Kids Stuff, Entertainment, Family sites, Promise Keepers, and much more.

Click here to take a look at the real POWERPAGE in action right off the web. Sample the links and the Search Engines.

POWERPAGE for Internet Explorer

POWERPAGE for Netscape Navigator

Why not plug the POWERPAGE into your browser. You will be glad you did. Here's how:

If you are using Netscape Navigator, Release 3 or prior:
1. Under the "Options" menu, select "General Preferences".
2. Under the "Appearance" tab, in the "Startup" box, click the button selecting "Browser Starts With: Home Page Location".
3. Type http://www.hedge.org/powerpage/powerpage.html in the box immediately underneath.
4. Click "OK".

If you are using a newer release of Netscape Navigator:
1. Under the "Edit" menu, select "Preferences".
2. Click the button selecting Navigator starts with "Home page".
3. In the Home page "Location" box, type http://www.hedge.org/powerpage/powerpage.html
4. Click "OK".

If you are using Microsoft Internet Explorer 3.0:
1. Under the "View" menu, select "Options".
2. Under the "Navigation" tab next to "Page", select "Start Page".
3. Next to "Address", type http://www.hedge.org/powerpage
4. Click "OK".

If you are using Microsoft Internet Explorer 4.0:
1. Under the "View" menu, select "Internet Options".
2. Under the "General" look for Home Page".
3. Next to "Address", type http://www.hedge.org/powerpage
4. Click "OK".

If you are using the AOL browser:
1. Click on "Prefs" in the browser menu.
2. Change the address of the home page to http://www.hedge.org/powerpage
3. Click on "OK".

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Now it's time to get SILLY

A CHRISTMAS STORY >/td>
(sent in by Chiqui Polo)

It was only five days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn't yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our Houston area Target Shopping Center. Inside the store, it was worse. Shopping carts and last minute shoppers jammed the aisles. Why did I come today? I wondered. My feet ached almost as much as my head. My list contained names of several people who claimed they wanted nothing but I knew their feelings would be hurt if I didn't buy them anything. Buying for someone who had everything and deploring the high cost of items, I considered gift-buying anything but fun. Hurriedly, I filled my shopping cart with last minute items and proceeded to the long checkout lines. I picked the shortest but it looked as if it would mean at least a 20 minute wait.

In front of me were two small children - a boy of about 10 and a younger girl about 5. The boy wore a ragged coat. Enormously large, tattered tennis shoes jutted far out in front of his much too short jeans. He clutched several crumpled dollar bills in his grimy hands. The girl's clothing resembled her brother's. Her head was a matted mass of curly hair. Reminders of an evening meal showed on her small face. She carried a beautiful pair of shiny, gold house slippers. As the Christmas music sounded in the store's stereo system, the girl hummed along off-key but happily.

When we finally approached the checkout register, the girl carefully placed the shoes on the counter. She treated them as though they were a treasure. The clerk rang up the bill.

"That will be $6.09," she said.

The boy laid his crumpled dollars atop the stand while he searched his pockets. He finally came up with $3.12. "I guess we will have to put them back, "he bravely said. "We will come back some other time, maybe tomorrow."

With that statement, a soft sob broke from the little girl. "But Jesus would have loved these shoes, " she cried.

"Well, we'll go home and work some more. Don't cry. We'll come back," he said.

Quickly I handed $3.00 to the cashier. These children had waited in line for a long time. And, after all, it was Christmas.

Suddenly a pair of arms came around me and a small voice said, "Thank you Sir."

"What did you mean when you said Jesus would like the shoes?" I asked.

The small boy answered, "Our mommy is sick and going to heaven. Daddy said she might go before Christmas to be with Jesus."

The girl spoke, "My Sunday school teacher said the streets in heaven are shiny gold, just like these shoes. Won't mommy be beautiful walking on those streets to match these shoes?"

My eyes flooded as I looked into her tear streaked face. "Yes" I answered, "I am sure she will."

Silently I thanked God for using these children to remind me of the true spirit of giving. Christmas is not about the amount of money paid, nor the amount of gifts purchased, nor trying to impress friends and relatives. Christmas is about the love in your heart to share with those as Jesus Christ has shared with each of us. Christmas is about the birth of Jesus whom God sent to show the world how much he really loves us. Please show this love as we think of the upcoming season.

Merry Christmas,

For Diane, Hannah, Ben, and I let me say that we wish you a Warm and Fuzzy Christmas. May God's true peace guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. The Mustache Guy

God bless and have a great month! Ken

P.S. I have built in an Archives section below if you would like to read any of the previous issues.

Kadywompus

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I would love to hear from you at Hello-Fridays@juno.com

(Special note to new "Hello Fridays" recipients. "Hello Fridays" is a free, bi-monthly, e-mail publication (and now Web page) that I send out which includes inspiration and wit. It all started in February of 1997. You are receiving it because you either requested it, someone else put you on the recipient's list, it was forwarded to you, or through sheer dumb luck. If, for some unexplainable reason, you would like to discontinue receiving HF, you can e-mail me at Hello-Fridays@juno.com to let me know to remove you from future mailings. Also if you come across any neat stuff, either serious or funny, that you think would make a great addition to HF, please send it my way.)